Anniversaries

Anniversaries are remembered for a variety of reasons, I suppose. Some cause us to celebrate, others serve to remind us of a failed business, relationships gone awry, unmet goals and other miseries. We much prefer the latter, more pleasant memories, but if we spend any time in reflection, some of those miseries serve us in ways that we have no way of comprehending at the time they occur. 

In many ways we are never the same again when our paths cross with something traumatic but in the mundane, "normal" events of life; our tendency is to slip back into mediocrity and lean toward missing and not applying the lessons learned.

 And so, it's good to reflect again...Oct. 12, 2001...on my way to work at the Blue Gate in Shipshewana...6:30a...big weekend...Grand Opening...running through my to-do list in my head...oncoming headlights...head-on...lights out and the next time I become cognizant of my surroundings I'm experiencing excruciating pain and breathing like a drowning man but Brenda is there...comfort. love. grace. I find I've been life-flighted to Parkview Hospital in Fort Wayne with a dissected carotid artery, fractured hip, punctured lung, lacerated liver and multiple cuts and abrasions. 

After 13 days in the hospital I was released in time to attend my sister Marla's wedding for which I was incredibly thankful. 

Recovery seemed slow and difficult over the next number of months and when our dark days turned darker with the loss of my job, friends and family provided much needed support for which we are forever grateful. 

Recently I heard the statement "God doesn't consult your past to determine your future" which I think is true. The difficulty lies in whether WE will do the consulting and be defined by our experiences or use them for good. Now, a decade later we can look at 2001 as a turning point of sorts for us as a family. I think we love easier; forgive quicker and live better. 

Reflection is good...grateful to Jesus and my loved ones. 

  Our 1990 Acura with the front end folded like an accordion. The first time Brenda saw it after the accident, she said she felt God was showing her that angels were inside holding the dash from coming back into me.

First painful attempt at getting out of bed.

 Much better with Brenda, Cody (10) and Morgan (6) with me.

13 days later at my sister Marla's wedding. I still have that suit...wonder if it looks 10 years old? :)

Mamma Magggie Gobran

This year at the Leadership Summit, Mamma Maggie from Cairo, Egypt spoke to us about the plight of the discarded slum children of Cairo. She spoke with a humble, quiet eloquence that was absolutely riveting. Here are some notes from her talk. Learn more at www.stephensministry.com

• Egypt, as a country has sent the greatest number of martyrs to heaven.
• It's the moment you die to self that you find yourself.
• When one has nothing, God becomes everything.
• Regarding the children her organization serves: We help them have a better life, they help us have more love.

Silence your body to listen to your words; silence your words to listen to your thoughts; silence your thoughts to listen to your heartbeat; silence your heart to listen to your spirit; silence your spirit to listen to the Holy Spirit. In silence you leave many to be with the ONE.

Day 2 / Leadership Summit 2011

Dr. Henry Cloud: The evil, the foolish, the wise

• "This guy" conversation...Wherever you are God has called you to be a steward of a vision.

• Are you going to allow "this guy" to thwart your vision?

• What do I do when the TRUTH comes to me?  Leaders must determine what reality is? What about leaders that are allergic to reality? Realize feedback is not necessarily pleasant.

Three types of people:

•  Wise: truth = change / Confrontation is appreciated / Talk!  The challenge is to make sure they are a match for what you need. Give good feedback. Keep them challenged.

•  Fool: truth = adjust the truth / deny reality / shoot the messenger / respond with anger / deny ownership / hopelessness ensues /   DO NOT CONFRONT A FOOL!  STOP TALKING!  Address the pattern of resultless conversations. Fools do not change when they escape the truth. They only change when they must camp out in the truth.   Limit your exposure, be clear about the consequences, give them a choice and then follow through.

•  Evil: destruction is in their hearts - they want to inflict pain / Reject a divisive person after the second warning

 

John Dickson:  Humilitus

• Humility is common sense
• Humility is beautiful
• Greatness and humility are now one
• Humility is generative. It  is the place of change and growth.
• Humility is persuasive. The person that you know has your best interest in mind is the most persuasive.
• Humility is inspirational. The real power of effective leadership is the ability of a leader to inspire others to greatness.
• When our great leaders are approachable, have time for us and take the time for us we are inspired.

•  Some of the most influential leaders don't have the "keys to the kingdom". (Think mid east changes)

•  We believe good hearted people quicker and to a greater extent. 

Humility is a reflection of the deep structure of reality. At the center of everything is the cross...a symbol of great humility.

Patrick Lencioni: Getting Naked

• Vulnerability seems to be counter culture but is a direct manifestation of humility. Vulnerability is powerful, attractive...be vulnerable whether you get rewarded or not.

 Fears related to vulnerability -

•  The fear of rejection - enter the danger / speak the kind truth / vulnerability doesn't guarantee a pain free experience / people are desperate for someone to tell them the kind truth /

•  The fear of embarrassment - if those around you think you are editing yourself to protect your image they won't trust you / ask dumb questions/celebrate your mistakes / when we acknowledge our humanity we attract people - they want to be around us

•  The fear of feeling inferior - do the dirty work / let those in your charge see you doing the things you ask them to do / Think - Jesus washing his disciples feet / honor your clients work / SERVICE!! 

 

Erwin McManus: Chasing Daylight

• Ecclesiastes 1 -There is nothing new under the sun . Believing this has created an apathy that has plagued the church to this day. 

•  Isaiah 43 ...behold I am doing a new thing. When you step into the presence of the creator of the universe everything becomes new...he reminds us that we can't put this new wine into these old wineskins.

•  Evil men do not wait for permission to create the future but unfortunately good people sit idly by waiting on God to create the perfect future.

•  Don't wait for someone else to create the better future when we have the character and heart of God in us

•  We need to become the cultivators of human talent.
• Most of us die painfully tragically ordinary.
• The church needs to be the nurturer of the human spirit. 
• What would happen if the world would looks at us as the epicenter of creativity?
• We at our best are not in the slightest bit intimidating to God.
• We need to reclaim the truth telling power of the gospel.
• Whoever tells the best story will shape the culture.
• Its not that hard to bring people to Jesus when you tell a story that places them in the same story as God.

Tell the truth from our podiums and churches and we will not have the capacity to hold all those that will come our way.

Day 1 / Leadership Summit 2011

Day 1 of my annual-can't-miss Leadership event was exceptional as usual.  Bill Hybels opened the day and Steven Furtick closed it out. Both of these men have influenced my life Bill for the past number of years and Steven more recently. Incredibly blessed to have opportunities like this. Following are some of my notes:

Bill Hybels: Have you had your leadership bell rung lately?

• When leaders stop learning they should just stop leading. 
• When a leader gets better everyone wins. 
• Our success is directly tied to our ability to attract and retain fantastic people.
• Are you naming and facing problems that exist in your organization? Courageously address the issues!
• How long do you tolerate:
• Bad attitudes (Willow Creek gives it 30 days)
• Under performer (Willow Creek gives this 3 months)
• Great people in our organizations are discouraged by challenging people
• Leaders must understand that their role is to move the organization from here to there.
• Challenged to make the next 5 years my best years. 

Les Schlesinger: Action trumps everything

Vision casting must follow creating discontent with what is.

Believe in the future by creating it first.

Failure doesn't mean game over, it simply means step forward with what you have.

Make reality your friend.

Bring other people along. Be flexible with what you want and how to get it.

Dr. Brenda Salter-McNeil:

Sometimes it takes a catalytic event to take us from where we are to where we need to be.

Steven Furtick: Audacious Faith

2 Kings 3:9-20 - Dig some ditches! You can position yourself for success but only God can provide the rain! Let it rain!!

Life can beat the audacity right out of you.

We struggle with insecurity because we compare our "behind the scenes" with others highlight reels.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1 ESV)

The Hunt for the Easter Egg

...perhaps this is the way it is every year and I simply have been oblivious to the obvious. Do I think there is something inherently wrong with an Easter egg hunt? No, of course not. When the kids were younger that's something we always did. If the weather permitted, we would hide them in the bushes and grass around the house and join the kid's in their quest to find them all. To add to the challenge there was candy hidden with the eggs to provide some additional incentive, as if they needed any.

No, it's not the little egg hunt at your house that's got me thinking...what sticks in my craw is the 25,000 eggs or the 30,000 eggs that churches are advertising that they're hiding and that kids should show up and find. Maybe this is the latest "get 'em in the door fad" but to me it sort of feels like an attempt at color-washing (pun intended) the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. The bloody gore that indeed is Jesus hanging on the cross is far less palatable than a holy week filled with rabbits and chicks and eggs.


This blog is entitled ...from my perspective and there you have it, my perspective. Maybe I just need a nap.

So How Does One Build Trust? stephen covey

1. Listen well. If you think I'm important enough to listen to me when I talk, then I'm going to think more highly of you.

2. Make and keep promises. Twenty-somethings have been let down by their parents' generation and are cynical. Counter that cycle by doing what you say you'll do.

3.Clarify expectations. It may not be anything more than poor communication that has you failing to trust someone else. Go the extra mile and explain in detail what you really hope will happen.

4. Kindnesses and courtesies. When was the last time you sent someone a nice thank you note? Do that and you say to them, "You are significant." In return, they will trust you more.

5. Be loyal to those not present. Talk behind my back and , if I find out, my trust will go down. Conversely, if you refrain from gossip and critical talk, you honor others.

6. Apologize. When you take the blame for something and apologize, my respect for you will increase. Apologies show that you've got your ego in check, that defensiveness doesn't control you.

7. Forgive. People make interpersonal mistakes all the time. How do you trust someone who doesn't forgive others when they make a mistake? To err is human, to forgive is divine.

8. Be honest. When someone is more known for their tap dancing than their honesty, you don't know where you stand or what version of the truth you'll get. Be a straight shooter and people will trust you more.

9. Show appreciation. Who doesn't like to be thanked? It boosts your sense of significance and you know that you've got value in another person's eyes.

10. Give and receive feedback. Giving feedback involves taking a risk. You could be wrong or your perceptions could be rejected. But feedback is something we all need. Give it well and you've given a gift, one that can build trust.

A Beautiful Mess

When Christian believers gather in churches, everything that can go wrong sooner or later does. Outsiders, on observing this, conclude that there is nothing to the religion business except, perhaps, business - and dishonest business at that. Insiders see it differently. Just as a hospital collects the sick under one roof and labels them as such, the church collect sinners. Many of the people outside the hospital are every bit as sick as the ones inside, but their illnesses are either undiagnosed or disguised. It's similar with sinners outside the church.

So Christian churches are not, as a rule, model communities of good behavior. They are, rather, places where human misbehavior is brought out in the open, faced and dealt with. ~ Eugene Peterson

BOOST Retreat / The Gift of Crisis - Jay and Beth Shetler

James 1:12-14

Times of crisis cause us to look deep, to evaluate the why's and how's of our life. It gives us opportunity to clarify mission, purpose and values.

What low priority area of life or business is stealing your time and energy?

A crisis tends to reveal our self-doubts, personality weaknesses and fears. If we would act without fear in this crisis, what would we do differently?

Isaiah 62:2

Crisis gives opportunity for genuine community. It is on the path of suffering that we learn best how to love and understand others who are suffering.

From my (Gene) experience, times of crisis grow us into persons that more closely resemble Jesus. And frankly, when we are able to see in "hindsight" what crisis has brought about, the good that has been created because of it...crisis when it comes again, while no more welcome than before; after all we don't seek pain and suffering, becomes a point of growth and expectation. 


JESUS IS THE BLESSED REDEEMER!

BOOST - a christian business retreat

Maintaining Trust - Terry Shue

-As our culture shifts and changes TRUST seems to be diminishing at a rapid pace. 

-Trustworthiness gives us a distinct advantage over our competition. 

"The ability to establish, extend and restore trust with all stakeholders - customers, business partners, investors, and co-workers-is the key leadership competency of the new global economy." Steve R. Covey

self Trust: Trust begins with me. If we are ever going to impact the community around us Trust must begin with us.  

four core credibilities Trust is built upon:
Integrity: Congruence, Humility, Courage. Who taught you about integrity without actually using the word?
Intent: Genuine concern for others
Capabilities: talents attitudes skill knowledge style
Track Record

NOTHING is as profitable as a high level of trust. 

Stick It Out!

From Hebrews 10...Remember those early days after you first saw the light? Those were the hard times! Kicked around in public, targets of every kind of abuse-some days it was you, other days your friends. If some friends went to prison, you stuck by them. If some enemies broke in and seized your goods, you let them go with a smile, knowing they couldn't touch your real treasure. Nothing they did bothered you, nothing set you back. So don't throw it all away now. You were sure of yourselves then. It's still a sure thing! But you need to stick it out, staying with God's plan so you'll be there for the promised completion.

Old Pictures - New Memories

Kaitlyn

Morgan, Courtney and Zach

Dennis and Cody

Lamar, Marla and Me at Lamar and Crystal's wedding

Do you ever wonder? What's the point of all these pictures? This afternoon Brenda retrieved a box of old photos from storage to begin the arduous task of sorting what must be thousands of pictures and placing them in albums. For anyone just starting out...trust me when I tell you that now would be a good time to place photos in an album, digital or otherwise. Better than waiting till you have boxes and boxes. Lots of fun spending the afternoon laughing and recalling with fond memories the people we've met and how we and our families have changed in the past 20 years. Without these pictures we would be left to what our memories can recall but with them we have many otherwise forgotten details. So if you're tempted, don't stop taking pictures. There are no regrets of having too many, just in not having enough.

Mourning - Private or Public?

I just returned from an Amish funeral and have some thoughts that I'm processing...my siblings and I have had an ongoing conversation about what will transpire when our parents pass on. In the Amish tradition, after the sermon(s) at the funeral there is one final viewing of the deceased but as everyone files past the coffin, they proceed back to their seats instead of exiting. I have always told my siblings that when the time comes we will ask for privacy in the final moments with our parents instead of doing so publicly. Now as I observed my closest friend saying his final farewell to his Dad, I had to wonder if there isn't some real value in mourning in community. Privacy would seem much more comfortable; less of a spectacle but perhaps for those of us in the audience, there is some sense of raw emotional compassion that is evoked in these times of grief that draws us closer into community with the grieving. The reverse may be true for those mourning the loss of their loved one as well. I don't know, maybe it doesn't really matter one way or the other...I thought my mind was made up about this topic, now I'm not so sure...any thoughts from those with experience?

BEER AND MAYO

Found this story on my laptop...stored there for the next time I needed to be reminded...maybe you need the reminder too ~

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 beers.  A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.  When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.  He then asked the students if the jar was full.    They agreed that it was.  The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.  The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.  The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of course, the sand filled up everything else.   He asked once more if the jar was full.   The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'  The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.  The students laughed.  'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.  The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.  The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.  'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.  The same goes for life.  If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.  Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.  Spend time with your children.   Spend time with your parents.   Visit with grandparents.  Take time to get medical checkups.  Take your spouse out to dinner.  Play another 18..  There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.  Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.  Set your priorities.  The rest is just sand.   One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.    The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'  The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend. 

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS... ...IT'S LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN