Anniversaries

Anniversaries are remembered for a variety of reasons, I suppose. Some cause us to celebrate, others serve to remind us of a failed business, relationships gone awry, unmet goals and other miseries. We much prefer the latter, more pleasant memories, but if we spend any time in reflection, some of those miseries serve us in ways that we have no way of comprehending at the time they occur. 

In many ways we are never the same again when our paths cross with something traumatic but in the mundane, "normal" events of life; our tendency is to slip back into mediocrity and lean toward missing and not applying the lessons learned.

 And so, it's good to reflect again...Oct. 12, 2001...on my way to work at the Blue Gate in Shipshewana...6:30a...big weekend...Grand Opening...running through my to-do list in my head...oncoming headlights...head-on...lights out and the next time I become cognizant of my surroundings I'm experiencing excruciating pain and breathing like a drowning man but Brenda is there...comfort. love. grace. I find I've been life-flighted to Parkview Hospital in Fort Wayne with a dissected carotid artery, fractured hip, punctured lung, lacerated liver and multiple cuts and abrasions. 

After 13 days in the hospital I was released in time to attend my sister Marla's wedding for which I was incredibly thankful. 

Recovery seemed slow and difficult over the next number of months and when our dark days turned darker with the loss of my job, friends and family provided much needed support for which we are forever grateful. 

Recently I heard the statement "God doesn't consult your past to determine your future" which I think is true. The difficulty lies in whether WE will do the consulting and be defined by our experiences or use them for good. Now, a decade later we can look at 2001 as a turning point of sorts for us as a family. I think we love easier; forgive quicker and live better. 

Reflection is good...grateful to Jesus and my loved ones. 

  Our 1990 Acura with the front end folded like an accordion. The first time Brenda saw it after the accident, she said she felt God was showing her that angels were inside holding the dash from coming back into me.

First painful attempt at getting out of bed.

 Much better with Brenda, Cody (10) and Morgan (6) with me.

13 days later at my sister Marla's wedding. I still have that suit...wonder if it looks 10 years old? :)

Those of you that know me well, know that I have a penchant for the warmth of the sun, especially when the days become shorter and the nights colder. Today, my heart is grateful for these days of October that are so perfectly warm and sunny. I'm finding that the walnuts are easier to pick up and the leaves, while they don't rake themselves, are more willing to move into piles when the sun is warm on my back. I recount the goodness of God in my life and the preciousness of life again as I approach the 10 year anniversary of my brush with death. The events of this past weekend...murder in Goshen, an on the job death in a friends business, the Occupy Wall Street protests...have turned me to the Psalms...11...But God hasn't moved to the mountains, his holy address hasn't changed. He's in charge, as always, his eyes taking everything in , his eyelids unblinking...

Keep us pure in thought, alert to Your purposes, alive to you, the only true God.

Mamma Magggie Gobran

This year at the Leadership Summit, Mamma Maggie from Cairo, Egypt spoke to us about the plight of the discarded slum children of Cairo. She spoke with a humble, quiet eloquence that was absolutely riveting. Here are some notes from her talk. Learn more at www.stephensministry.com

• Egypt, as a country has sent the greatest number of martyrs to heaven.
• It's the moment you die to self that you find yourself.
• When one has nothing, God becomes everything.
• Regarding the children her organization serves: We help them have a better life, they help us have more love.

Silence your body to listen to your words; silence your words to listen to your thoughts; silence your thoughts to listen to your heartbeat; silence your heart to listen to your spirit; silence your spirit to listen to the Holy Spirit. In silence you leave many to be with the ONE.

Day 2 / Leadership Summit 2011

Dr. Henry Cloud: The evil, the foolish, the wise

• "This guy" conversation...Wherever you are God has called you to be a steward of a vision.

• Are you going to allow "this guy" to thwart your vision?

• What do I do when the TRUTH comes to me?  Leaders must determine what reality is? What about leaders that are allergic to reality? Realize feedback is not necessarily pleasant.

Three types of people:

•  Wise: truth = change / Confrontation is appreciated / Talk!  The challenge is to make sure they are a match for what you need. Give good feedback. Keep them challenged.

•  Fool: truth = adjust the truth / deny reality / shoot the messenger / respond with anger / deny ownership / hopelessness ensues /   DO NOT CONFRONT A FOOL!  STOP TALKING!  Address the pattern of resultless conversations. Fools do not change when they escape the truth. They only change when they must camp out in the truth.   Limit your exposure, be clear about the consequences, give them a choice and then follow through.

•  Evil: destruction is in their hearts - they want to inflict pain / Reject a divisive person after the second warning

 

John Dickson:  Humilitus

• Humility is common sense
• Humility is beautiful
• Greatness and humility are now one
• Humility is generative. It  is the place of change and growth.
• Humility is persuasive. The person that you know has your best interest in mind is the most persuasive.
• Humility is inspirational. The real power of effective leadership is the ability of a leader to inspire others to greatness.
• When our great leaders are approachable, have time for us and take the time for us we are inspired.

•  Some of the most influential leaders don't have the "keys to the kingdom". (Think mid east changes)

•  We believe good hearted people quicker and to a greater extent. 

Humility is a reflection of the deep structure of reality. At the center of everything is the cross...a symbol of great humility.

Patrick Lencioni: Getting Naked

• Vulnerability seems to be counter culture but is a direct manifestation of humility. Vulnerability is powerful, attractive...be vulnerable whether you get rewarded or not.

 Fears related to vulnerability -

•  The fear of rejection - enter the danger / speak the kind truth / vulnerability doesn't guarantee a pain free experience / people are desperate for someone to tell them the kind truth /

•  The fear of embarrassment - if those around you think you are editing yourself to protect your image they won't trust you / ask dumb questions/celebrate your mistakes / when we acknowledge our humanity we attract people - they want to be around us

•  The fear of feeling inferior - do the dirty work / let those in your charge see you doing the things you ask them to do / Think - Jesus washing his disciples feet / honor your clients work / SERVICE!! 

 

Erwin McManus: Chasing Daylight

• Ecclesiastes 1 -There is nothing new under the sun . Believing this has created an apathy that has plagued the church to this day. 

•  Isaiah 43 ...behold I am doing a new thing. When you step into the presence of the creator of the universe everything becomes new...he reminds us that we can't put this new wine into these old wineskins.

•  Evil men do not wait for permission to create the future but unfortunately good people sit idly by waiting on God to create the perfect future.

•  Don't wait for someone else to create the better future when we have the character and heart of God in us

•  We need to become the cultivators of human talent.
• Most of us die painfully tragically ordinary.
• The church needs to be the nurturer of the human spirit. 
• What would happen if the world would looks at us as the epicenter of creativity?
• We at our best are not in the slightest bit intimidating to God.
• We need to reclaim the truth telling power of the gospel.
• Whoever tells the best story will shape the culture.
• Its not that hard to bring people to Jesus when you tell a story that places them in the same story as God.

Tell the truth from our podiums and churches and we will not have the capacity to hold all those that will come our way.

Day 1 / Leadership Summit 2011

Day 1 of my annual-can't-miss Leadership event was exceptional as usual.  Bill Hybels opened the day and Steven Furtick closed it out. Both of these men have influenced my life Bill for the past number of years and Steven more recently. Incredibly blessed to have opportunities like this. Following are some of my notes:

Bill Hybels: Have you had your leadership bell rung lately?

• When leaders stop learning they should just stop leading. 
• When a leader gets better everyone wins. 
• Our success is directly tied to our ability to attract and retain fantastic people.
• Are you naming and facing problems that exist in your organization? Courageously address the issues!
• How long do you tolerate:
• Bad attitudes (Willow Creek gives it 30 days)
• Under performer (Willow Creek gives this 3 months)
• Great people in our organizations are discouraged by challenging people
• Leaders must understand that their role is to move the organization from here to there.
• Challenged to make the next 5 years my best years. 

Les Schlesinger: Action trumps everything

Vision casting must follow creating discontent with what is.

Believe in the future by creating it first.

Failure doesn't mean game over, it simply means step forward with what you have.

Make reality your friend.

Bring other people along. Be flexible with what you want and how to get it.

Dr. Brenda Salter-McNeil:

Sometimes it takes a catalytic event to take us from where we are to where we need to be.

Steven Furtick: Audacious Faith

2 Kings 3:9-20 - Dig some ditches! You can position yourself for success but only God can provide the rain! Let it rain!!

Life can beat the audacity right out of you.

We struggle with insecurity because we compare our "behind the scenes" with others highlight reels.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1 ESV)

The Hunt for the Easter Egg

...perhaps this is the way it is every year and I simply have been oblivious to the obvious. Do I think there is something inherently wrong with an Easter egg hunt? No, of course not. When the kids were younger that's something we always did. If the weather permitted, we would hide them in the bushes and grass around the house and join the kid's in their quest to find them all. To add to the challenge there was candy hidden with the eggs to provide some additional incentive, as if they needed any.

No, it's not the little egg hunt at your house that's got me thinking...what sticks in my craw is the 25,000 eggs or the 30,000 eggs that churches are advertising that they're hiding and that kids should show up and find. Maybe this is the latest "get 'em in the door fad" but to me it sort of feels like an attempt at color-washing (pun intended) the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. The bloody gore that indeed is Jesus hanging on the cross is far less palatable than a holy week filled with rabbits and chicks and eggs.


This blog is entitled ...from my perspective and there you have it, my perspective. Maybe I just need a nap.

So How Does One Build Trust? stephen covey

1. Listen well. If you think I'm important enough to listen to me when I talk, then I'm going to think more highly of you.

2. Make and keep promises. Twenty-somethings have been let down by their parents' generation and are cynical. Counter that cycle by doing what you say you'll do.

3.Clarify expectations. It may not be anything more than poor communication that has you failing to trust someone else. Go the extra mile and explain in detail what you really hope will happen.

4. Kindnesses and courtesies. When was the last time you sent someone a nice thank you note? Do that and you say to them, "You are significant." In return, they will trust you more.

5. Be loyal to those not present. Talk behind my back and , if I find out, my trust will go down. Conversely, if you refrain from gossip and critical talk, you honor others.

6. Apologize. When you take the blame for something and apologize, my respect for you will increase. Apologies show that you've got your ego in check, that defensiveness doesn't control you.

7. Forgive. People make interpersonal mistakes all the time. How do you trust someone who doesn't forgive others when they make a mistake? To err is human, to forgive is divine.

8. Be honest. When someone is more known for their tap dancing than their honesty, you don't know where you stand or what version of the truth you'll get. Be a straight shooter and people will trust you more.

9. Show appreciation. Who doesn't like to be thanked? It boosts your sense of significance and you know that you've got value in another person's eyes.

10. Give and receive feedback. Giving feedback involves taking a risk. You could be wrong or your perceptions could be rejected. But feedback is something we all need. Give it well and you've given a gift, one that can build trust.