Mourning - Private or Public?

I just returned from an Amish funeral and have some thoughts that I'm processing...my siblings and I have had an ongoing conversation about what will transpire when our parents pass on. In the Amish tradition, after the sermon(s) at the funeral there is one final viewing of the deceased but as everyone files past the coffin, they proceed back to their seats instead of exiting. I have always told my siblings that when the time comes we will ask for privacy in the final moments with our parents instead of doing so publicly. Now as I observed my closest friend saying his final farewell to his Dad, I had to wonder if there isn't some real value in mourning in community. Privacy would seem much more comfortable; less of a spectacle but perhaps for those of us in the audience, there is some sense of raw emotional compassion that is evoked in these times of grief that draws us closer into community with the grieving. The reverse may be true for those mourning the loss of their loved one as well. I don't know, maybe it doesn't really matter one way or the other...I thought my mind was made up about this topic, now I'm not so sure...any thoughts from those with experience?

BEER AND MAYO

Found this story on my laptop...stored there for the next time I needed to be reminded...maybe you need the reminder too ~

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 beers.  A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.  When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.  He then asked the students if the jar was full.    They agreed that it was.  The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.  The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.  The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of course, the sand filled up everything else.   He asked once more if the jar was full.   The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'  The professor then produced two beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.  The students laughed.  'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.  The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.  The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.  'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.  The same goes for life.  If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.  Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.  Spend time with your children.   Spend time with your parents.   Visit with grandparents.  Take time to get medical checkups.  Take your spouse out to dinner.  Play another 18..  There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.  Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.  Set your priorities.  The rest is just sand.   One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.    The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'  The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend. 

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS... ...IT'S LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN